Things I do BTS to protect my privacy as an influencer

part 2 of the unspoken truths of being an influencer

I went to an influencer conference about a decade ago and one of the girls talked about how she had some pretty scary experiences with a stalker. All of the influencers at the workshop made a list of how to keep themselves safe and I’ve followed these rules for 10 years.

Today I’m sharing them with you.

Aside from physical security, there is a big mental part to this. People are living so much of their lives online and so little of them in real life.

Children are growing up and seeing their parents glued to their phones and looking up at them occasionally. What we do, our children will mirror and I know that I want more for my little one.

Millennials are the last generation to grow up without the internet, cell phones, and immediate access to social media. Our childhoods were laced with rushing home before the street lights came on, playing kickball in neighborhood cul-de-sacs and occasional Mario Kart on rainy days. We went to restaurants and colored with the crayons and sheets they provided at Pizza Hut. Sunday morning cartoons weren’t something our parents feared, because the big screen was the only screen we had access to.

Almost everything on that list is extinct. Adapting to the new world and all of the beauty that comes with new tech and AI is a responsibility. I’m pretty sure we’ve all watched enough Robots Take Over the World movie arcs to know that.

If you missed part one of Unspoken Truths of Being an Influencer you can catch it here, this is part 2 with a big focus on protecting me and my family’s privacy and security online.

Here’s what I do to stay safe online, but first, the highs and lows.

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📰 In case you missed it…

Unspoken Truths About Being an Influencer

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In this column you’ll find:

• 🔒 The digital boundaries I’ve followed ever since

• 🌞 Poolside birthdays, progress worth celebrating, and one glorious no lows week

• 🛁 My empties and things in my cart this week

• 📵 The exact online privacy rules I follow to protect my family

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⬆️ This week’s highs:

I got away with my husband for a few days and while I miss my little dearly, I realize the importance of dating my husband and clawing our way out of the roommate stage with intention. She’s luckily in the best hands with our parents and I’m grateful to be writing this poolside and have an office outside for the day.

My birthday is also today (yay!) and I’m proud of the work I’ve done this year in becoming the best version of myself. As always, I’m a work in progress, but today I’m taking a moment to celebrate that progress.

I’m grateful to my readers for helping me achieve a very lofty goal that I set for myself to be able to return to my love of writing. With 20k of you here, I’m so appreciative. You guys are the best part of my job!

⬇️ This week’s lows:

I never want to force myself to find a low. Today I’m saying no lows.

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• This is the clarifying shampoo I always go back to. If you’ve been around a while, you already know I swear by it. I always use it after I oil my hair weekly and it gets the oil out (the first time) and is awesome for product buildup.

• I’m lazy when it comes to moisturizing after the shower, so I got this IN shower oil and my skin has never been softer. I’ve been recommending it since I discovered it last year.

• If you’re still thinking of a gift for your mom (or to yourself) for Mother’s Day and you love to bake, this one’s a good pick. Not a huge fan of their cookware, but the nonstick bakeware comes in dreamy colors and stacks beautifully, even in small kitchens.

Can you do me a favor? If you like this, will you hit the heart ❤️ at the bottom of your email? I pinky promise it helps me and will only take you a second!

How to keep yourself & your family safe online

Honestly, everyone should take a page from this list and implement some (or most of them) in your own lives.

Whether or not social media is your job, it’s important to have boundaries for your mental sanity, your physical safety, and emotional well being.

Especially in an age where oversharing feels like the norm… let’s bring back a little mystery.

1. 📍 I never post in real time
I only share after I’ve already left a place. Whether it’s a restaurant, an event, or a vacation, I never tag or post my exact location while I'm still there. It’s not about being secretive… it’s about being safe. If someone wants to tell me they were at the same place later, great! But I don’t need strangers knowing exactly where I am in the moment.

2. 🏖️ Vacations are truly my time off
Unless it’s a sponsored trip, I don’t post in real time during vacations. I treat those moments as real breaks, not work opportunities. If I’m sipping a mocktail poolside, I’m not also writing captions in my head. Being an entrepreneur means there are no boundaries, unless you create them for yourself. I’ll share the highlights later, after I’ve soaked them in for myself.

3. 🍲 I don’t do "phone eats first"
When I get food, I just eat it. I’m not pausing to take Instagram photos. I’m not a food blogger, and I don't feel the need to document every little thing. Plus, warm fries > aesthetic content. Every time.

4. 📱I share what matters, not everything
I’m intentional about what I post. Not every part of my life needs to be shared, especially when it doesn't serve a bigger purpose. Some things are just mine: sacred, silly, or boring moments I don’t feel the need to package for public consumption.

5. 👪🏼 I put my phone away during family time
Every evening, usually from 5 to 7 PM, my phone goes in another room so I can be fully present with my daughter. We read books, we build towers, we burn dinner together, and I never want to look back and realize I missed it because I was scrolling. I strongly believe your family deserves your uninterrupted attention for a period of time.

6. 👧🏽 I protect my daughter's privacy
I don’t show her face straight on in any photos or videos to help keep her identity private and secure. While I respect everyone’s decision to make the right choice for their family, this is what’s right for us. This isn’t about judgment, it’s about our personal boundary. One day, she’ll get to decide how much of her life she wants to share, but until then, I’m keeping her face to myself.

7. 📦 My personal address stays private
Any PR packages or mail gets sent to a separate box that I pay for. My home address is never public. And yes, that means paying out of pocket for privacy— but it’s one of the best investments I’ve made.

8. 👯‍♀️ I never share my friend’s faces or ask them prior to posting about them
I signed up for this life, but they didn’t. I will always blur faces of friends to protect their privacy plus my group chats are already funnier than anything I’d ever post online, so their stories are staying there.

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The internet isn’t going anywhere, but your peace of mind shouldn’t have to. These boundaries help me feel safer, less anxious, and more in control of what I share (and what I don’t).

Whether you’re online for work, fun, or just to keep up with your group chat, it’s okay to protect your privacy like it’s your job.

If you have a digital boundary that’s changed your life, please leave it in the comments. I’d love for all of us to learn a little and add to my list.

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PS — If you love these kinds of behind-the-scenes stories, consider supporting this Substack. For a few dollars a month, you help me write more posts like this: without needing brand sponsorships or viral hits to make it possible. (& I’ll never take that for granted.)

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